Contemplation: Looking before you Leap
After spending time in the place where you aren’t aware that something needs to change, you may find yourself start to recognize patterns, behaviors, relationships, situations, that are no longer working for you.
Sometimes that looks like walking into work or a relationship feeling frustrated and upset more often, feeling the time span between fights and frustration shorten. You try to manage those feelings with temporary solutions like taking a vacation, trying to talk about your problems, drinking, having sex etc. However, each time you come back to work, or whatever situation you are in, you go right back into that old feeling again.
You know that something isn’t working, but when you become aware of what needs to change like leaving your job, leaving your relationship, speaking up for yourself, or reflecting inward, you shut down. You decide that there must be another way to change this, and you are going to try anything and everything before you choose to leave the job or the person. Now, sometimes the answer isn’t leaving, but often we have an awareness of what action we need to take, and we will avoid that action until the last possible moment. This isn’t wrong, it’s how we have learned to function with change.
Contemplation is the stage where you actually begin to uncover your true power, which is choice. The beauty of this process is that you get to choose when you change, what that change might be like, and even going so far as to deciding whether you will change at all. Whether you change or not is one target, but the target that I so admire as I bear witness to my and others’ change processes, is the ability to discover and uncover the gift of true choice. This is a power that you have right now. It has never left you; we simply forget we know how from time to time and set out to take the journey toward re-discovering what we are actually capable of.
Tools to create ease:
-Each day you wake up ask, “If I were truly being me today what would I choose?”
-Write down a list of all the choices you have at the current moment, you don’t have to choose a single one, but it will show you just how much power you actually have.
-If you aren’t ready to make a particular choice, choose something else, LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE!
-Hold yourself as you would a child through this process. There is no rush to choose, even if you think that there is, take your time and allow yourself to fully experience the power of your choice whatever it may be.